On a Lonely, Lonely Highway

I drove around the city to get some clarity and fresh air. Between the traffic, and exhaust of every vehicle, the city was as congested as a drawer full of old socks. I decided to stop at Barnes & Nobles, and a few other of my favorite places, hoping to find relief.

Sadly, the depression consumed my every second. It was my bad friend I couldn’t get away from. The sun was setting, and the depression was growing stronger with the onset of night.  

I didn’t care to spend the evening alone, so I went to Ashley’s house. I explained my anxiety/depression once more. She listened as always and desired to help.

Ashley made me a wonderful meal (ribs, yum!), and we watched one of our favorite movies at the time (Harry Potter). The meal was excellent and the movie was good, but it didn’t alleviate the depression. Ashley and I spent a few more hours together, until it became late, and I had to drive home.

The time was 11:30pm, and it was particularly cold and dark that night. The clouds were covering the moon, and the street lights were flickering. Oddly, I was the only vehicle on this normally busy freeway. I was all alone again with my thoughts and depression once more.

I had nearly graduated college with my bachelor’s degree in psychology, and by that point I’d tried every technique to defeat the anxiety/depression…besides becoming one of Pavlov’s dogs (Don’t ever do it! No matter what they pay you!).

Psychology is a helpful (and dangerous) subject, but in my case, it was getting me nowhere. I was ready to try something drastic, and I wasn’t going to wait any longer. It was time to make my final move.

It’s always darkest before the dawn.